If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
