He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize