dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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