i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
