Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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