do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
