i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
