Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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