Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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