I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
