So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
