Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
