we're blogging at a bar
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
