Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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