Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
