went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
