He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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