i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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