Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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