my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
