What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
