he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
