I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize