So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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