am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
