It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
