I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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