My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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