Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
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God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
They took my balls.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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