You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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