Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
