How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
