If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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