Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm really busy with my period
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