So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
well you can't waste a boner
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
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