I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
