just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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