I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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