found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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