Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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