all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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