You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
