I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
