I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
