so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize