Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
