I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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