Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
