the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
