Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
