Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
