oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
