I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
