Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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