the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
