Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I intend to get homeless drunk
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
