Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
