I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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