Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
