O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
