So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
