he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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