We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
