lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
