I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
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Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
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Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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