I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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