I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
